I've been playing with this crazy idea in my head for awhile now. There's something in my life that is keeping me from feeling true joy and peace. This "idol" is something I turn to when I'm feeling down to make me feel better. It helps me feel happy for a fleeting moment, but in the end I just feel guilty afterwards and regret doing it.
This idol that I'm talking about......is shopping.
You might be kind of chuckling to yourself right now but I'm being completely serious here! I have felt super remorseful lately when I buy something that I don't need. Tonight all the cookies hit the fan and my hubby and I had this big talk about future stuff and about wasting money. To be quite honest it wasn't really a talk, it was an argument. I don't want you to think that I'm living beyond my means and racking up debt or anything, because we don't even have a credit card. It's just that when I get paid, and I have a little extra money, my brain starts to think of all these great things I can buy that I really would like to have. Things like; bookends and sugar dishes and skinny red jeans and gladiator sandals. Just to name a few. But do I really NEED these items? Of course not. I have a beautiful closet full of nice clothes and shoes. I could also think of a unique option for a sugar dish and bookends that re-purposes something I already have.
I know that this is obviously nothing "wrong" per say with doing a little shopping for yourself to brighten your day. Women do it all the time. But for some reason my brain just keeps rejecting the happiness that shopping once brought me and turning it into extreme guilt and remorse. Obviously, God's trying to tell me something here. If I didn't spend $250 per month on misc household items and clothes, just think of all the possibilities for that $250! I could save up for that trip to Africa I've been wanting to take. I could use the money towards JD's tuition to Cape Christian School. I could (GASP) donate the money to missions. There is seriously no limit to what I could do!
So, here's my crazy idea. What if I went for say, 1 year...... without buying anything besides groceries. That means no new magazines every month, no new clothes, no new kitchen gadgets....no new nail polishes (oh my goodness I think I'm about to start crying!) nothing. The purpose for this experiment would be to see if I start to feel my relationship with Christ go to a whole new level. It would also be interesting to see how it will effect my marriage, my budget, my free time, etc.
Now don't start getting excited because I haven't actually said I would go through with this yet. I'm still thinking about it. On a side note, obviously there will be times when I need to buy gifts for others, and clothes for JD. I'm thinking that in those instances I will buy only vintage or previously owned items. That way I'm not buying something new, I'm re-purposing. Also in the course of a year I'll probably need new bras and panties and in that case I think it will be ok to buy new. Second hand panties? Gross.
I'm going to think about this for the rest of the month. May 1st I'll make a decision. In the meantime....what do you think about my idea? Think it's worth trying?